If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
