If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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