Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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