he wants to bone in the snuggie
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
