I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
