let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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