I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
