But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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