yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
