Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
