Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
