Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
