I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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