My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
