It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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