with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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