This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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