I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Drunk is a universal language darling
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
