9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
