She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He felt like a one man threesome
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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