I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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