I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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