i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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