I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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