Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
