fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
