Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
