I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
