He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
