Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
