I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
