Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
why do cheetos always look like penises
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
