found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
