I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
