we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Everything about him screamed your future.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
