he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
