Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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