I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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