i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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