before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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