I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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