just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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