another moral hangover. fuck.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
