just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
