Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
