I hate all girls vehemently.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
