She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
