elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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