butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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