please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
