you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
