Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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