Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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