I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
