a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
