Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize