Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
