Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
