I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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