Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
