Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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