It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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