She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
