i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
