look no pants
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
They are going to name an STD after you.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
