no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
