what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
